Wednesday, August 6, 2008

All Time Team: Federal League

When it come to all time teams, who can forget the Federal League? Yes the league of the Charlestown Chiefs, Syracuse Bulldogs and other notorious teams. But who are the best of the best? Lets take a look.

Jeff Hanson - Steve Hanson - Jack Hanson
-Dit Clapper? Toe Blake? Eddie Shore? Old Time Hockey! Put on the foil. 

Ned Braden - Reggie Dunlop - Guy "Frog Pussy" Drouin
- Another offensive line. Not that they are going to need it since the Hansons are gods. They won't go after old goalies. Except maybe Dunlop. He takes all he can get.

Ogie Oglethorpe - Tim "Dr. Hook" McCracken - Gilmore Tuttle
-Start racking up the penalty minutes boys. Don't forget to mention that Oglethorpe can score and Tim McCracken has stated he can perform "Major surgery. Open heart". Oh and the other guy owns a doughnut shop. 

Clarence "Screaming Buffalo Swamptown - Morris Wanchuk - Nick Brophy
- A man with war paint, a pervert, and a man who plays games drunk and wets himself when he gets hit. Any questions? 


Dave "Killer"Carlson - Johnny Upton
-The top 2 defensemen in the federal league. At least all around. The Swami Baha be with you.

Andre "Poodle" Lussier - Ross "Mad Dog" Madison
- The big hitters. One was involved with the Denny Pratt tragedy and decided to become a hermit. The other has his lawyer with him everywhere he goes. 

Billy Charlesbois - Jim Ahern
One is a chick magnet and obsessed with himself. A pretty boy. There is always one. Ahern is here to bust the balls of the starting goalie who can't speak English.


Denis Lemieux
Tommy Hanrahan

Goaltending is no question here. Despite the fact Lemieux hates anyone who speaks English and demands a trade to Detroit he is a good goalie. He is also allergic to fans. Hanrahan on the other hand has a wife who cheats with everyone in the league. Dunlop knows. He will snap at every practice because Dunlop will be yelling at him all game about his cheating wife, who happens to be a lesbian as well. These guys are both psychos. But they are goalies, they should be. 

Coach: Reggie Dunlop- They are working on it.

General Manager- Joe McGrath- Fashion shows and radiothons. Johnny Upton tried to give him a heart attack by flashing the crowd at a fashion show. And apparently he dresses up in women's clothing. 

Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it. What a team this is. Would beat out any NHL in history. Hands down. Or I should say gloves down. 

Image found here

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